Happy Holidays everyone!
It's been awhile so I figured I'd update everyone on my journey. I'm still spending lots of wonderful time with the boo mentioned previously. In fact, I have a BOYFRIEND. Yes, a BOYFRIEND. To be honest, I've only had a BOYFRIEND for like 3 months of my adult life. I've had messy situations and boos but never a solid commitment and its fun and different. While I'm still getting used to sharing my time, I love the courtship, the wonderful dates, the cutesy phone photo shoots and all the other things that come with being a couple. And the guy....he's wonderful. Not the "I'm in the honeymoon phase" wonderful, but in the "he prays for and with me and kisses my forehead" wonderful.
Ok, enough of the mushiness LOL. In the midst of the new coupledom state that I'm in, I get a phone call from my ex. The guy who was formerly known as the only boyfriend I ever had in my adult life. The guy who smashed my heart into billion pieces many times over. The guy who "changed" and reverted in a NY minute. The guy who played me left and right (and it was a white girl! Child!! lol). The guy whose calls I had been avoiding for the longest time because I knew one "hello" would have me right back in the middle of a hot mess relationship.
But this time, I answered the call. It was late and I had just got off the phone with my BF. The initial minutes were the cordial hi's and how you been's. Then, he let his true intentions be known. He proposed "stopping by/staying over" on his way home for Christmas vacation. A year ago I would not have been so strong to say no. But "no" rolled off my tongue sooner than I could process it. I let him know that I now have a boyfriend and would never disrespect him by mingling with an ex. Not only was I proud of myself, I was happy to be honest and making sure that chapter stays closed.
Many times, exes seem to crawl back into their former flames' lives to apologize, to try again, to get things right. While 10% of those re-attempts work out, I'm pretty certain that anyone (including myself) who has tried again with an ex soon realized that nothing was different and nobody changed. It's natural to want to try. Everybody wants the fairy tale happy ending. A reason for the pain. A smile at the end of a dark journey. But for most of us, an ex is simply a lesson on what NOT to tolerate and what to watch out for in the future. My ex taught me to never tolerate cheating, to be cautious with second chances, and that I am ALWAYS a gem, even if someone treats me differently.
It's funny how exes come back when you're with someone else. When they sense somehow that their unhealthy grip on your heart has diminished. I hope he learns to be better to his next love. And to be the love he seeks to find. In spite of all the craziness and tears, I thank God for the lessons he showed me with my ex. Because right now, I have the pleasure of spending a very happy chapter of my life with a guy who treats me like a princess, respects me with his whole heart, and appreciates the woman in his life. Good girls don't finish last
