Age Old Question

I feel like this question ALWAYS comes up in convos among friends, lovers and all those inbetween: Can really men and women be just friends?

A couple weeks ago, I caught up with a long time male friend over lunch. We chatted about our families, Christmas and New Years, our current dating life, the news, Baltimore Ravens, and all that good stuff. With both us being newly in relationships after a long time of living in singlehood, our conversation seemed to bounce back to our significant others. He mentioned running into a girl he had seen here and there in the past and reconnecting with her at a event. I cautioned him against starting a new friendship with an attractive gal since his girlfriend may not be totally fond of the idea. My philosophy was (is?) that he better hold on to all the friends of opposite sex that he has (LOL), because it's really a sticky situation to try to add more unless they are 100% girlfriend known and approved. You know the in a relationship or known you for years type. I told him if my boo got some new friend who was a cute, single girl, I'd be looking at him sideways LOL. He disagreed and felt that if he knew his own boundaries, why should it matter?

In the middle of the conversation, I started to realize my own hypocrisy. First of all, here I was on what to the naked eye looks like a date with a guy even though I KNOW it was like grabbing some food with family. Secondly, I have a  few male friends that I keep up with regularly and see when I get the chance. I've never really asked how the boo feels about it, I just let him know and keep it moving. I guess because I knew things were 100% platonic and not an issue, I brushed it off and made it a complete non-issue as it relates to our relationship. Luckily, he's a guy's guy and all his friends are husky, rough and tumble guys who talk about sports all day so I haven't really had to deal with him having female friends. I wonder what he thinks or if he worries. I wonder if my hypocritical feelings are the result of past infidelity that I've been on the receiving end of?

I'm not sure what the right answer is...so the age old question remains: Can men and women really be just friends?

New Year, New Resolutions

Happy New Year! 2013 is sure to bring bright blessings :)

So much has changed for me over the past year and it's amazing to see the growth in my personal and professional life and to just think back to how GREAT God has been. I started off 2012 still living in artic cold (lol) Minnesota. I put in 12 hour days on the regular, was habitually tired and was patiently waiting for the light at the end of tunnel. I sealed strong bonds with my co-residents and other friends I made in the Midwest. I ventured to Iowa. Dabbled in interracial dating. Got my first real job interview. Got my first real job offers. Drove 18 hours across half of the US. Lived my dream of having a nice spot in the city. Finally got to do for my family (<---That's big!). Hosted a party. Tried online dating. Dated and dabbled lol. Got a boyfriend. Reunited with friends I had been separated from by distance. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, growth and happiness :)

With the New Year also comes resolutions. I've already committed to being healthier in body, mind and spirit. I'm committing to trying to eat healthier and work out, to get the right amount of sleep and to pray and praise often.  The funny part about this year is that I don't have the same old resolution of: "I'm finally gonna get a boyfriend." To be honest, every year that I made that resolution, I never really put the effort into it. And I also wasn't ready to be anybody's girlfriend. I wasn't secure enough with myself, my feelings or my values.

My relationship resolution this year is to be my truest self. Sounds a little weird, but over the past couple years I have been working on this. Often, I have been/am the "yes" girl. Always willing, always obliges, always positive, never hurt/offended, always bending, never breaking. The boo who overlooks indiscretions and is "ok" with snippy comments. The friend who goes along the with plan but doesn't complain when my own plans are discarded by others. The coworker who covers for others lack of time management and is fine with having to miss a lunch break. I struggle with expressing my true feelings and opinions for fear of others' reactions or for fear of hurting others' feelings.  I am a sweet, down to earth girl who likes to read, likes to write, who prefers a lounge over a club, prefers good conversation over the bar, who can't dance that well (lol), who is sensitive yet keeps a smiling poker face, who loves Sundance channel movies and walks through new neighborhoods, who loves fervently and seeks the same. My resolution is to be that girl. Every day. All the time. Unapologetically. With my family, my friends and boyfriend. I'm working on my being my truest me :)

What's your relationship resolution?