I feel like this question ALWAYS comes up in convos among friends, lovers and all those inbetween: Can really men and women be just friends?
A couple weeks ago, I caught up with a long time male friend over lunch. We chatted about our families, Christmas and New Years, our current dating life, the news, Baltimore Ravens, and all that good stuff. With both us being newly in relationships after a long time of living in singlehood, our conversation seemed to bounce back to our significant others. He mentioned running into a girl he had seen here and there in the past and reconnecting with her at a event. I cautioned him against starting a new friendship with an attractive gal since his girlfriend may not be totally fond of the idea. My philosophy was (is?) that he better hold on to all the friends of opposite sex that he has (LOL), because it's really a sticky situation to try to add more unless they are 100% girlfriend known and approved. You know the in a relationship or known you for years type. I told him if my boo got some new friend who was a cute, single girl, I'd be looking at him sideways LOL. He disagreed and felt that if he knew his own boundaries, why should it matter?
In the middle of the conversation, I started to realize my own hypocrisy. First of all, here I was on what to the naked eye looks like a date with a guy even though I KNOW it was like grabbing some food with family. Secondly, I have a few male friends that I keep up with regularly and see when I get the chance. I've never really asked how the boo feels about it, I just let him know and keep it moving. I guess because I knew things were 100% platonic and not an issue, I brushed it off and made it a complete non-issue as it relates to our relationship. Luckily, he's a guy's guy and all his friends are husky, rough and tumble guys who talk about sports all day so I haven't really had to deal with him having female friends. I wonder what he thinks or if he worries. I wonder if my hypocritical feelings are the result of past infidelity that I've been on the receiving end of?
I'm not sure what the right answer is...so the age old question remains: Can men and women really be just friends?
I am just like you Ebony! I don't trust other girls...especially NEW girls. I don't know why I am this way especially since I am a trustworthy girl. But I've seen friendships blossom and been in a friendship that blossomed...it wouldn't hurt to be more open-minded but I always feel like I can't let my guard down because then what if? :-/
ReplyDeleteThat will always be a tough one! I agree with you though if they are old friends cool but new female friends I'd be a bit apprehensive of. You should be what he needs, he is trying to feel a void? Not to say if he met a new friend at work and they talked during work or maybe grabbed some food while at work cool but to get together alone after hours??! why?!?
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